Loneliness

While Im studying for tomorrow's exam, I'm taking a little break and I thought I could share something new. 

As I said yesterday, I wanted to do more conceptual images. Well, I proudly got one today! 

My house is now full of flour, as are my hair, my bed, my cat and my camera. I tried to get that feeling of cold on me before getting on the post editing.

My cat had a lot of fun during the shoot. She's not on the picture but she spent the whole time trying to. She was jumping in my bed every time she could, upsetting me. As I would fight her out of the bed, flour was spreading everywhere. Loads of fun! 

So well, that expresses well how I have been feeling lately. Im getting better now though. My lifestyle has completely changed since the beginning of the semester and it was not so easy to get used to it. Going back to school has been mentally hard in many ways. My courses are very fun, I love the fact that I'm learning new things everyday (I actually more than love it), I know I made the right choice, but going back to a social life isn't easy. Im living far from campus and as I thought I would make friends, I realized it is not as easy as I planned. I'm a little bit older than the first year as well, I'm not in the same state of mind as they are. Moreover, I live on my own. When I get home I have no one to talk too. My boyfriend lives overseas and we both are trying to accommodate ourselves to our new lifestyle (he was the one studying before). Its not easy. 

I also felt like I could not dream anymore. That may sound weird now, I actually really spend my days dreaming. That's what makes me feel good. I still live in this real world, but I've always been more in my mind, in my imagination than most people do. At least its funny. Thinking about funny things is one of my favourite hobby. Thanks to Francois Pérusse for that! 

So well, here is the picture. 

Not able to dream anymore.
Reality is so strong.
I'm feeling somewhat cold.
The whole world is so cold.

Sometimes you just want to close your eyes
and wait till its over.
Feeling lonely.
Painfully lonely.

I wish to make more and more photography this year. I want to learn a lot. I also discovered a digital artist today. He's amazing! What I like the most about his work is the fact that his cat appears in every image he creates. I think I'm gonna try to include mine sometimes, as it seems that she always wants to step in! 

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mattijn/

Back to Photography

Ok, I was writing this post and it erased itself. Hate it when it does that. Plus, the internet is crap, I experiencing big problems with it lately. 

Well, I'm gonna write something short and sweet I guess. I'm too frustrated to rewrite the entire post again! 

I wanted to make some statements about photography, about where I am now with it. 

First, I am now co-heading the Photography Club at Bishop's. This is great news, it seems like my ideas are very useful. 

I also will be photographer for The Campus, the university newspaper. If they received my pictures on time, I should be published in their next edition. This isn't a big achievement but I'm happy. 

Its good because lately my self-confidence as gotten very low. Trying to make my way in Sept-Iles was hard. Not because I couldn't get any clients or because people would not see me, but because the way people think. It makes it hard for us to break through. People are attracted by cheap prices not talent. That means, while you think you have enough talent to get into photography, some wannabes, with no technical knowledge can take your job because their ''prices'' are very low. Most people can't see any difference between a bad picture and a good one. Its even harder for them to see a difference between a good one and a bad one. Im not blaming them for that. Im blaming the ones who use that for their own profit, while they know they shouldn't do that. It brings the whole photography world down. Some good photographers don't make themselves any publicity. They hope they will be seen with talent (in a small town it should work) but the reality is that it doesn't work. People will see talent, but will claim their prices are too high while their friend can do it for 25$. (yes, 25$...) 

I did not make myself any publicity. I had clients because some people talked about me, which I really am grateful for. I didn't make myself publicity because I know I can be better than that. I know I still need to improve. I am not where I want to be yet. So how can I sell myself? I see some people selling themselves as the best photographers you could find, but are missing so much technical skills. Photography isn't only technical, but to consider yourself as a pro, you must master both the overall feeling (message, emotion) and the technique. Actually some people are selling themselves even though some of these aspects are missing, and make real good profits. People venerate them as if they were the best, because they sell themselves this way. Then, what about the ones that are really good but aren't making any statement about their work, about their talent? People don't care about them, they are forgotten. It is so even though most of these are way much better than the ones who claims they are pros when they aren't. I know many photographers around me who are just as good as they are and even more, way much more. As me, they feel a little depressed about that situation.  

So well, now that I got back to study (after 4 long years!) its time for me to do what I want to. This year, i'm not taking any contracts, I am doing only things that I really want to do. 

I may turn to conceptual photography this year. My last 3 weeks has brought me new ideas. A lot of things as been going on in my mind and photography is gonna be a way to release all these thoughts. 

I'll try to do as much as I can. In december, I will travel to France to visit my boyfriend so most of the pictures I want to do are gonna be done there. Its always helpful to have someone with me. 

Here I post some examples of conceptual pictures I did before...

This one was a test. Levitation shots are very common. See MissAniela or Rosie Hardy's work. These are really fun to make. I would like to take that idea a little bit further, even though I don't want to push it too much. Its been done a lot before. 

This one is from my mind. I wanted to express one idea. I'm laying down on Slovakia for a good reason. It is where my boyfriend is from and going through a distance relationship isn't always easy. This picture needs more improvements to be done though. I will work on it as soon as I can. 

This one is a test with studio lighting. I love the feeling of movement in a picture. Here, no photoshop was used to create the ghostly effect. It was done directly in studio, on the camera. I did beauty retouching I admit though! Testing always brings interesting results. I want to do more of that syle of shoots. 

Last one! The idea is taken out from the movie What Dreams May Come. The images portrayed in that movies are just so surreal and beautiful. This specific image takes its inspiration from the main character's walk to hell. Women were trying to scream but their mouth was inexistent. That image haunted me... 

So well, more work to come later. I hope I will have time to do every projects I have in mind. 

Trip to Italy (Art History)

I'm posting this one a little late. My internet is down and I have to post this from my friends house! 

I also had to take pictures of pictures for this one as my original photos were taken on a film camera!!

This will be a very personal post. Its a thought I had while in my Art History class (renaissance to modern to be more specific)

Back in 2005, I went to Italy on an organized trip with the Cegep de Sept-Iles (oh yes, we have a cegep in there!!) I spent two whole weeks there, during the end of may, taking benefits from the very nice warm weather (in sept-iles, nice weather is maybe in July and August, never both during the same summer!), and visiting a very beautiful country. It actually was my first trip to Europe, my first trip ever.

I got there, thinking I would be jet laged, thinking things would look completely different and maybe I would be disoriented. Well, no! Milan just looked like … a normal city with red rooftops. That's what I thought at this time.

People were excited, realizing ''hey we're in Italy!! How great is this?''. I wasn't. To me, it was like anywhere else. People worked, slept, ate and breathed like anybody else in the world. So, I wasn't in awe, but I was still happy to be there. I always wanted to visit Italy, and I actually always wanted to travel.

During our 2 weeks, we visited museum, visited museums as well as visiting museums. We also visited other museums, talked about museums, visited more museums and visited these other museums as well. We also, visited cathedrals, more cathedrals and other cathedrals as well. We heard about Da Vinci and Michelangelo so much that the sounds of these name would just make our ears bleed at the end of the trip.

What I really wanted to experience is disorientation. I thought it was the main goal in traveling.

So I searched for things that were different from what I'm used to see. For example, the public toilets! How great these were for me! I really am posting a picture of a modern Turkish toilet, yes. I wasted a photo on my film camera to have a souvenir of that toilet!! I was that bored.

I'm thinking about that today and I smile at how much things have changed. I realize that Italy is a country you can't visit without having, at least, a small knowledge about what was going on there before. I didn't knew anything when I went there the first time and I wasn't interested. I wanted to see Italian culture while living with them, but I missed the fact that museums, cathedral et all the stuff I didn't like to see... WAS Italian culture.
I didn't care about these visits because I didn't know anything about it. Today, I would go back there, only to visit again everything I missed. To have that specific knowledge is somewhat amazing.

That trip made me grow up though. Yes I realized the world was the same everywhere. It actually is. Even though the culture is different, the world is the same. No matter where you are, if you are surrounded with people you love, you'll be happy.
I also grew some respect towards religion. I visited the Vatican, the place I thought I would hate. I was a strong atheist and visiting the Vatican wasn't in my favorites plans at all. I got there and saw some works by Michelangelo. It was 3D paintings and I was amazed. Even though the Vatican is the perfect place for suicidal agoraphobic, it made me feel different. I'm not more religious than I was before, but I learned some respect. The fact that so many people with strong faith go there everyday, it leaves some kind of energy that makes you feel different. The strongest moment was when we got into the Sistine Chapel. I actually had tears which did surprises me a lot. I remember the Pope had recently died and the feeling sticked to the room. I looked up the ceiling to have a look at the only thing I knew from Italian art. The difference between what I thought I would see, and what I saw was huge. There was much more up there that I thought I would see. I kept silent for the rest of our visit there.

Today, I would like to go back to Italy to have a different point of view on what I saw. Now that I gained more knowledge, I'm sure I will be way much interested in their culture. I didn't found what I was looking for the first time I traveled there, but now I feel stupid that I missed the most obvious.

Looking back at my pictures from this trip, I also realize how bad I was as a photographer! My album is full of huge mistakes. Fortunately, I improved!  

Workshops Today

 What's the role of the artist today? Does he have to go through all the process himself? I mean, work from conception to completion on his own? If you would buy a painting, what would you think if you knew that the artist from whom you bought it didn't paint the image himself? Well, some artist actually work this way.

Jeff Koons http://hypebeast.com/2009/04/a-tour-inside-the-jeff-koons-studio/ is an artist based in New York. According to culturekiosque.com, he had set a record at auction for selling the ''Hanging Heart'' for 23,6 million US dollars. However, Jeff Koons doesn't work alone. His studio, also based in New Work, employs many employees who work for him. Indeed, Jeff Koons has a workshop. 

So, what is a workshop?

At the beginning of the Renaissance, there were trade organizations called Guilds for different fields of work. Artists, doctors, bakers and many other professions had guilds. They would set the standards and establish the rules of quality for their members. The artists, named artisans, were considered as skilled labourers available for hire. They were hired by Patrons, mostly members of rich families in order to create a specific piece of work for them. Artists were required to produce exactly what the patron wanted them to. They were, then, not considered as they are today. An artist could not create their own work. He was part of a workshop lead by a master. At young age, an artist would start as apprentice working hard to achieve a certain amount of knowledge and then become an assistant. If he showed great skills he could maybe eventually become a master who would then create his own workshop and hire assistants and apprentices of his own. The master was paid by the patron to deliver the work. He would design the piece and his workshop would work on it. The patron could also ask the master to produce the piece by himself for an appropriate increase in the artworks price of course.

As an example, I guess you all know Michelangelo and his work in the Sistine Chapel. He was also a master of a workshop. There were assistants and apprentices helping him. Michelangelo wasn't working alone! He designed the work and many people within the workshop worked on it. His assistants, learned to paint exactly like the master, so you could not make any difference between them. Now, Michelangelo’s work can be seen from different perspective. Not only Michelangelo was working this way, but every artist was.

So, going back to Jeff Koons. He has a workshop. He is the master who designs the pieces on which his assistants will work on. He still remains the one who gets all the credit for the work, as Michelangelo got the only credit for his work as well. It may seem unfair to the others today, because we are used to see the artist as the creator and the producer of his pieces. But what if it takes just too many hours to complete one piece of work? An artist alone would have to spend a life-time working on it in order to complete the piece. Going back to Koons’s Hanging Heart, we can see, following the link, http://www.culturekiosque.com/art/artmrkt/koons_hangingheart.html it took Jeff Koons and his workshop 10 years, i.e. 6000 man hours, to produce this sculpture.

From this point of view, it is indeed useful, even mandatory to work with a workshop.

I'll make a parallel with the publicity industry. Many of you have watched the Dove Publicity showing how edited and distorted an image on a billboard can be. Here is the link if you haven't seen it yet, or if you just want to refresh your memory

As you can see, many people are working on this image, such as the model, makeup artist, hair stylist, photographers, retouchers, artistic director (who we can't see, but he is there), etc. One single person could not possibly do that on his own. It would take ages to achieve this result. Also, one person is usually specialized in one specific work field only. To obtain a professional outcome, they have to hire many people with many different skills. This is the creative team. I’m not saying it is a workshop, as everyone in the crew has their own specific ability which sometimes do not connect with each other. A makeup artist is far from being a photographer. Creative teams are actually better adapted for today’s society than the workshops. Maybe they are some kind of evolution of the workshop. But I guess we can see the purpose of having both.

It may seem, weird, but yes, I would say that the workshop today can still be usefull. It isn't the same as in the Renaissance, but considering the time it actually takes to produce some piece of art, it is obvious that its still needed.